The Power of Self-Honesty: Overcoming Anxiety with Authenticity

I think we are all guilty of trying to convince ourselves that we are okay with something that we're not. We tell ourselves as well as those around us that we aren't bothered by certain things or that we are flexible with our schedule in order not to have conflict with others. However, when we keep suppressing our true feelings, we can end up dealing with a lot of anxiety. This is why focusing on honesty can actually help with overcoming anxiety.

If you want to read more about how to deal with conflict, you can do so here:

Dealing With Conflict

Doing What's Manageable

When you're honest with yourself and those around you about your struggles, you can focus on doing the things that are manageable. With anxiety, for example, you may struggle with going to people's houses. If you try to hide that and do visit a friend in their home, you are likely to feel anxious the whole time which at the bare minimum will be distracting. By being honest, you can agree to find a place better suited for both of you and actually enjoy your time together rather than focusing on keeping up a pretence.

Having Genuine Relationships

Following the earlier example, if you have to keep adjusting to those around you, your connections are less likely to be genuine. Your family and friends should want to support you, just as you want to support them. By being honest with them, you will firstly know who your true friends are. Those who don't care enough will remove themselves from the situation that isn't convenient for them. For those who do care, they will be willing to help you as much as possible and to be supportive. Having genuine relationships with people whether, romantic, platonic or even professional is important as it helps us to feel accepted. When we are pretending to be something we are not, it becomes a burden that is hard to shake as it develops into fear that we are not enough as we are. Being honest breaks that cycle and allows you to be yourself thus inviting the right people into your life.

Less Overthinking

Being honest means that we don't have to worry too much about what the "right" thing to say or do is. We are making the best choices we can in any given moment and that is enough. When we are disingenuous, it's because we are trying to manipulate the outcome somehow and that then leads to a lot of overthinking. Are we saying the right thing? What is the other person thinking? Am I dressed okay? Am I funny enough? How can I be more endearing? It's impossible to enjoy the moment with questions like those floating around your head. Endless questions means a lot of uncertainty which can then manifest into anxiety. By being honest, you are being authentic and you don't need to worry about what people are thinking or if you can change what you are doing as you are just being you.

Finding Solutions

By being honest, you are being more open with yourself and with others. Go back to the first example of not being comfortable in other people's homes. If you are honest about it, you can focus your energy on finding an alterative place to meet (such as a cafe or bar). On the other hand, if you decide to try and convince yourself you can go to people's homes or that you should get over it, you will spend all your energy on trying to cope with being there or at least trying to make it look like you are having a good time. We have a limited capacity for thoughts, and by being honest, we can utilise that capacity efficiently and find solutions to the challenges we face.