Conflict is inevitable in life. There will be times where you have different opinions, conflicting actions or even just small disputes. It’s very easy for it to get out of hand though. In my experience, a little healthy debate is fine. It’s good to explore other viewpoints and it gives you a chance to revisit why you believe the things you do. There are unhealthy conflicts and a lot of them originate from a point of hatred.
Hate is a strong word but it exists. A lot of people commit unspeakable actions because of the hate they feel. There’s not a lot you can do about what other people feel, but there are things you can do to try and keep tensions down.
1. Walk Away
If you leave the situation, you won’t be a part of it anymore. The other person can still feel the things they do, but they can’t direct it toward you or drag you into it.
2. Ask them why they feel the way they do
This is something that depends on the circumstances of conflict but if you can remain calm, it can be a great way to resolve it or at least keep yourself in the clear.
3. Bring in a mediator
If you have to be around this person (for example if you work with them), it can be a good idea to bring in an impartial third party to help diffuse the tension. By having them present, usually, it can help get to the bottom of things and plan a way forward.
4. Don’t Provoke
When somebody is provoking you, it can be easy to have a go back at them. However, as soon as you give them a reason to argue, you are straight down to there level. The other thing is, if you know something will kick off an argument, don’t say it unless absolutely necessary. If something needs doing, maybe try to communicate that through a third party than direct to the person with whom you have conflict.
5. Find a way to unwind
At the end of the day, it’s likely you’ve suppressed a lot of emotions. Make sure that you do something you enjoy at the end of the day so that tension doesn’t build up inside of you.
Basically, there are only two real ways to deal with conflict; one is to confront it and the other is to avoid. The most important thing is that you try to remain calm and sooner or later, it will be resolved. Conflicts don’t last forever, even though when things are unpleasant, it can feel like a lifetime.
If you wish for any further advice, please contact us.