Life is built up of good and bad moments, that’s just how it goes. We wouldn’t appreciate the good things if we didn’t experience anything bad. However, prolonged negativity is something else. It can seep into every part of your life and that’s when it gets really hard to shake.
Negativity comes in so many forms, starting with those around you to your own thoughts. Have you ever spent time with someone who is constantly making comments about other people’s appearances, or what you could be doing better or why their life is so hard? How about hanging around someone who is always telling you about the drama going on in their life? Have you ever had days where it just feels like everything is going wrong? That you’re no good at anything? Those moments of negativity are often the ones we just accept as a part of life but they bring us down and can even lead to anxiety.
Over the past year, I’ve spent a lot of time working on removing negativity from my life and replacing it with positivity. That starts with me. It’s easier to work on my thoughts then expect those around me to change. More often than not, people will reciprocate the energy you give them so if you start being more positive, they will try to be too. If they don’t, then you might consider distancing yourself from them.
Here are my top five tips for dealing with negativity and the stress it brings:
Media: The first thing I cut out was the news. It’s important to keep up to date with stuff that’s going on in the world, but thankfully you can catch up quickly by looking up news feeds on your phone. Watching the news creates the illusion that everything is bad. Watching the news in the morning just started the day off badly for me. Instead of focusing on my life and the good things that were to come, my thoughts would be filled about disastrous events occurring globally that I could do nothing about. As well as the news, spending too much time on social media can become pretty toxic. You are surrounded with people showing you picture perfect moments in their life and that then leads to comparison (which is never really a good thing). I started to feel worse about my life and achievements that otherwise I was really pleased with. Seeing how quickly my perspective shifted led me to stay away from social media unless there was something specific I wanted to see.
Hobbies: Cutting out the news and other media meant that I should add something more positive in. In order to deal with stress in other areas, I took up some different hobbies. The good thing is, there is an endless list of possibilities. There’s the stuff you can do at home like painting, drawing, crafts, yoga, cooking, but there’s also the other things you can do in groups like horse-riding, tennis, kick-boxing, gymnastics, bike rides, etc. It all depends on your budget, your health and what you want to achieve. For me, I wanted to try new things that would get me moving more so I tried tennis and kick-boxing. It’s out of my comfort zone but it’s bringing positivity into my life. I’ve laughed more than I have in a long time and getting out of my normal routine pushes the usual negativity aside.
Reading/Writing: To be fair, these are two different points but it feels like they go well together. I experienced a really dark time earlier this year and reading became my escape (alongside playing Overwatch). It allowed me to step away from the negativity of the situation, as well as the stress, and allowed me to live somewhere else for a little bit. Writing also allowed for an escape. I could write stories about whatever I wanted and because as was in control of the narrative, I could keep it positive. However, writing is also a great way to get your thoughts in order. Get rid of those negative thoughts by getting them down on paper and then throwing it away! Banish it! Equally, you can use writing to focus on the more positive aspects of your life. Gratitude is a great place to start as it helps you to focus on all of the various positives that you may take for granted.
Being Honest: This means being honest with yourself and with those around you. If you notice yourself having a lot of negative thoughts, try to find out why. It could be that you have one major stressor that you can do something about that will ease a lot of pressure. It could be that you’ve been focusing on a lot of negative aspects of life, and noticing that means you can put your thoughts onto a more positive path. If it’s being around certain people, maybe have a chat with them to point out that they are talking about a lot of negative things. See if they are okay but if they want to continue, then give yourself permission to stay away from them. If something in your life is bringing about more negative things than good, Being honest with yourself will help you decide if you can cut it out or not. Say for example you are going to a weekly book club. You love reading and you want to make friends but you notice that every time you go, you feel negative. You feel drained afterwards. You could try and convince yourself you’re just tired when in actual fact, it could be that you don’t like the book they are reading, or their take on books is too serious for you. It might be time to leave that book club and find another.
Find the funny side: Try and laugh multiple times a day. It’s so good for you on so many levels. In our daily lives, we get bogged down with stuff that we have to do and we slip into a monotonous routine. Look around for the funny things going on, or things that make you smile. Watch some short comedy videos online or make little jokes in your head throughout the day. It’s important not to take life too seriously, but instead try and find the joy in every day. Laughing is a good way to do that.
Ultimatley, it’s all to do with your mindset. Negativity is all around us and we have to build up a barrier to keep it out. Yes, we need to acknowledge our feelings, but let the bad stuff wash over you and wash away. Focus on trying to keep a positive outlook. Every time you notice a negative thought creep in, try to think of an opposing thought. There’s always some good in everything.