• Theo

How To Deal With Negative People

We have all dealt with someone being negative towards us and it can have a bad impact on our mental health. Sometimes negativity can help spur us forwards, but we have to be secure in ourselves in order to do that. Here are a few tips to help you deal with negative people…

Try to make light of it

Negative people often thrive off of drama or seeing that they can make other people feel bad. By making a joke or dismissing any negative comments, you take away their power.

Obviously this tip is easier said than done. Negative comments can be hurtful and bring your morale down but try to make a joke about it. Sometimes it’s easier to go along with it but that can be self deprecating, if the comment is about you. However, if the negativity is about a situation, then you can make a joke based off of their comment or try to find the funny side of the situation.

By not taking it to seriously, you are taking away the power in the negativity. If the other person decides to stay in a negative mind frame, at least you are doing your best to keep yourself in a positive headspace.

Ask them to expand on their comments

If a person starts making negative comments about someone or something, ask them to expand on it, why they think like that or why it matters. Sometimes people don’t even realise how negative they are being. By asking them questions about it, you’re causing them to think a little deeper. That’ll either help them sort through their negative feelings or they will be unable to pursue the conversation in that tone any longer if there is no substance to their comments.

Counter their negative comments

One of the things that has helped me in a few conversations is by actually countering the negativity in a calm way. Take for example someone moans about the rain. You could counter that it’ll at least be good for the plants or refreshing for us. Or if they moan about having to work five days a week, you could say that it’s fortunate to have a job in this current economic climate. Don’t get me wrong, some people will find this annoying but the point is, we should try to remain in a positive mindset. Always look on the bright side of things. People who don’t want to do that will probably keep their distance from you but really, that’s the ideal outcome. You want to surround yourself with positive people.

Be your own ray of sunshine

There are situations (like at work), where it’s better to keep your head down but still, if the people are negative around you, it can bring your morale down. Those are the moments when you need to be your own ray of sunshine. Take your mind elsewhere and block out the negativity. Don’t interact with it but instead, remind yourself of the good things going on in life. Having your own music can help too if the situation permits as it lets you create your own little bubble. No-one can enter it unless you allow it.

Repeat positive affirmations to yourself

Positive affirmations are shown to have a positive impact on your mental health. By consistently repeating positive thoughts to ourselves, we start to believe them and feel more inspired.

These affirmations can be anything from things that you like about yourself, to positive outlooks on the day. It might be worth compiling a list of positive affirmations that you like, on your phone so that in moments of negativity, you don’t have to think on the spot but can read off your phone.

Confront the negativity

There are times where the best thing you can do is confront the person. “Why do you focus on the negative things?”, “do you really see nothing positive in this?”, “why don’t we focus on something better?”. Again, it may be that the person doesn’t realise how negative they are being, or it may just help them to be honest with themselves. Often, people that seem generally negative have something going on in their life that they are trying to avoid thinking about. That thing then influences their behaviour and attitude but in a negative way. By confronting it, then can hopefully let go a little.

If not, then hopefully they will realise that the negativity isn’t desirable and will just stop (even if only temporarily).

Stay away from them

As a last resort, you can just stay away from that person and their negativity. Cut the toxic people out of your life as they aren’t good for your mental health and it isn’t your role to fix their problems. If they refuse to accept positivity in their life, then you take your positivity elsewhere.

Negative people are draining. You will notice yourself feeling tired, down, hopeless and maybe even angry. You don’t need that in your life. You want to surround yourself with people who are focusing on the good in the world and trying to make the most of their life. People who are caring and compassionate. Those are the kinds of people you want to be around.

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